3 Sunday specials, including match-making Chinese style.

1)
After coming back home from buying some dumplings this morning, I see XiaoMing (very strange flatmate) sitting on the sofa apparently watching the TV. Only it becomes immediately clear that he is 'watching' and listening to the walkman he has placed on top. The TV was broken, so he put his walkman on top and was listening to an English language cassette. So we're sitting there in silence, both listening to different ways to sum up a business meeting, watching a blank TV. I asked him how much of it he was understanding, he said 'not a word'. Excellent.

2)
I've been learning the script today for the TV programme I'm making next week for the local TV station. It's a one-off soap opera. I play a foreigner planning to get married to a local girl, and it charts the conflicts and passions aroused as my (Australian) culture clashes with that of her traditional Chinese parents. But in the end, I learn how to slurp my noodles and shout loudly in restaurants, so we get her parents' consent.

The director said to me there's only 2 or 3 speaking lines, and even if I could not speak any Chinese it wouldn't matter. Either he is stupid or lying, because I have 63 lines, which will be impossible to remember in Chinese. And better still, it's in the local language, not Mandarin. So it's a bit like learning Italian for 5 months and then being expected to speak Latin. However, I expect this will be my big break into North West China acting circles, and no doubt will, in a few years, be appearing on Parkinson, retelling humorous vignettes about my early acting career.

3)
This afternoon the blue sky appeared, so I went for a wonder round the city, and came across 'The Revolutionary Park' somewhere in the middle of Xi'an. The first thing you notice when going in to most Chinese parks is how incredibly noisy they are. Rest and relaxation? No thanks, deafness for me please! One section had loads of kids' amusement things with exceptionally loud pop music blasting out, and this was competing with the old people performing Beijing opera in another section of the park. While Beijing opera is truly horrendous (think several cats in golf course style lawn mower), it's pretty interesting to watch. Apart from the amusement things, it was actually really nice, quite big so plenty of places to wonder round. Lots of greenery, tropical trees, ruins of old Chinese buildings - not a bathroom tile in sight.

The best thing, though, was a huge group of people looking earnestly at pieces of paper hanging on string between trees and attached to the trees themselves. I wandered over, noticing that nearly everyone was at least 40 or so. Then one of the people talked to me, and I discovered what was going on - a matchmaking service. It was lots of mothers come to find a girl/boy friend for their as yet unattached son or daughter, scribbling down contact information on scraps of paper. All the hanging pieces of paper were like things you get in newspapers - 'woman, 35, seeks etc,etc'. I asked if the 25-40 year olds in question come themselves, and said 'oh, no no no!' It's perfectly normal here, I guess, for mothers to 'assist' in the 'finding significant other' process. There were very, very few people under 40. I felt slightly odd.

I talked to quite a few people there (one guy was telling me why Diana and Charles' marriage didn't work out, he was surprised to learn that Harry's father is not really Charles). Everyone kept asking me, often with a wink, if I had come to find someone myself. When they found out I was 23, they all scoffed and said 'too young, too young!' It was definitely clear from all the name lists that this sort of drastic action need only apply to those in their late 20s and above.

Reading the adverts was really interesting. By far and away the most important thing appearance-wise is height. This is listed right at the top, other physical attritutes weren't normally listed. They were very precise - 'must be 1.58m or taller', etc. On some of them that was the only information listed. When people meet me, the first thing they comment on is how tall I am, and therefore handsome. (This isn't arrogance, all foreigners, despite appearance, get told how handsome they are. It gets very tiring after the initial novelty wears off).

Other 'yaoqiu' [demands/requests] are extremely frank. Mostly the women are looking for someone with a) a good, stable income b) a house c) 'culture' (education level). Personality traits, like generous and kind hearted, etc, if mentioned at all, came after the material, matter-of-fact things. Likewise, men were usually more interested in the financial condition of a prospective wife than her personality.

It's a pretty interesting place, I might go back again. But I'll be sure to bring ear muffs and tape measure.