The Truman Show meets Winston Smith

I've suddenly realised what life has been like recently - I'm Winston Smith [the guy from that book 1984] and I'm in the Truman Show. This has been particularly true in the proceedings concerning the university in the last few weeks, proceedings which came to a head this afternoon. I am pleased to say that, like when Jim Carrey walks through the sky at the end of the film, I have succeeded.

What's been the problem with the university? They said this term's tuition fee is 7300RMB, I said not for me it ain't, because I'm here for one year, and according to last year's tuition fee, my fee should be 5570RMB - a big difference. What's more, they specifically told me in February that the second term's fee was this lower one. They can raise the tuition fee for new students all they like, it doesn't affect me - thus went my water-tight, non-deniable argument.

They've been point-blankly refusing recently to budge on this, throwing up the usual walls - not answering the phone, avoiding me, saying 'mei banfa' ['I have no choice']. Thus last week I didn't even go to the university at all, because talking to them is really extremely similar to talking to a tank stuck in wet cement.

My German flatmate is the same situation. So he went there this morning, and came back and told me all about his 'discussions'. Turns out he'd copied my 'Robert DeNiro-in-the-film-Casino' from last week and gave the two people in the office a talking to, making one of them really angry. But it's easy to understand why, talking to these guys is incredibly exasperating at times. For example, the following mini-conversation took place.

Chinese office person: Everyone has already paid this semester's tuition fee.

German friend: Has he paid? (pointing to his German friend next to him, who hasn't yet paid).

Chinese office person: Everyone has already paid.

German friend: Has he paid?

Chinese office person: No

German friend: So not everyone has paid.

Chinese office person: Everyone apart from him has already paid. You pay now.

Maybe the exasperation doesn't come across, but it really makes you feel all alone, and pull a lot of Tim-from-the-Office type expressions.

So this afternoon I go the office as well and talk to someone a bit higher up. We have the usual rebuttals about how it's not their fault, we want to be friends with you, bla bla bla. I told them, truthfully, that I had yesterday been to the cheaper Xi'an Petroleum University to ask about studying there, and also to the Public Security Bureau to check this was OK. A genuine threat to give them no money at all was my trump card.

We continued discussing and getting nowhere for a bit. One argument they had against giving me the pre-arranged fee was that everyone would then starting wanting it. This is rubbish, because I'm not a new student, and the old students have either already gone home (only here for a semester) or already paid a whole year in advance. I asked them how many students started in February, are here for one year and paid only half in February (i.e., same as me) - she said lots. I said you could maybe you could check your records for an exact number, she said they don't keep such records. I said so how do you know it's lots, she said it's probably lots. I said maybe it's no-one else, she said, yeah, maybe it's no-one else. Great, thanks a lot. Please don't go into law.

Afterwards she said would talk to her colleagues and get back to me on Monday or before. An hour later she phoned me to say they have already discussed it. It's amazing - some things take for ever to get done in China, and others can get done super-fast. They agreed that where was a 'banfa' (solution) after all - funny, that. They agreed that I had made no mistake and will let me continue at the uni for the lower fee, on the condition that my flatmate says sorry for telling them how shit they do things, and that we don't tell anyone else.

I'm sure they all now think I'm the most annoying person ever. But did they really think I was going to let them p*** all over me and let them get away with it? Did they really think that? This was their biggest mistake. I currently feel like Perry Mason after a well-won courtroom drama case.

PS, yesterday I was sitting at the bar, and on my left was a Chinese guy who looked just like Austin Powers, and on my right was a Taiwanese guy who quacked when you called his name. You just gotta love China!!