Wednesday, 12 September 2007

Survival tips for China

Fancy a trip to China? Don't forget to pack the following 10 items.



1) Sense of humour. Without it, China sometimes seems a rather grim place. With it, everything becomes interesting and a source for humour.



2) Sense of humour. I really mean it.



3) Some paper/books to sit on. When sitting down somewhere outside, a Chinese person will always sit on something to prevent their trousers getting dirty. The other day, a friend of mine saw someone picking an old newspaper off the ground and sitting on it. Because those old papers are really clean.



4) Toilet paper. None is provided.



5) Cigarettes. You'll often get offered one, so it's a good idea to have some of your own to return the favour.



6) A Portuguese passport. This means, when someone says 'Where are you come flom', in order to practise their English, you can legitimately say you're not American/English, etc and continue the conversation in Chinese. Unless of course, you do what I do, and lie. About 40-50 people in Xi'an have now met a Portuguese guy called Carlos, who looks suspiciously like the English guy their friend knows.



7) A map of China with Taiwan shaded the same colour as the mainland.



8) Haggling skills. I've yet to master.



9) One of those rollbars they have in rally cars to fit in your taxi before setting off.



10) Your business card. I got given one today by some guy who owns an English language school. The English name of his school was spelt wrong.





Things you won't need



Arrogance. We all know Europe is less populated, cleaner, no silly tones in the language, etc. But if you come here with the 'we're better' attitude, there is really not much point in coming at all.



A phrasebook. No one will understand you anyway.



Knowledge of MaoZeDong and the Cultural Revolution in particular. Young people in China have about as much interest/respect for this period as a New Zealand sheep farmer.



A wallchart for the Rugby World Cup. If you want to watch that, forget it.

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