It took me a long time in Xian to discover these living areas - they can be well hidden. Many of these areas are affiliated with a factory, government department and so on - ie, the employees in that institution get assigned houses. This system doesn't really exist much any more - most people with money want to live in a new house with a lift, car park and no play area for their kids.
The bloke in charge emerged from his little concrete room next to the bike and moped shed, wearing the blue plastic flipflops that are the shoe of choice for many in the summer months. He was taking me to see a one-bedroom flat. I left slightly disappointed - as expected, 'fully furnished' is a phrase that needs some salt. We went back and I asked him what his commission was. He said a month’s rent, which was funny because his wife had told me the day before it was half a month’s rent (plus the standard is half a month anywhere anyway). He said, 'seeing as you can speak Chinese, I'll do it for half a month’s rent'. What he meant was I wasn't a foreigner who makes up for his lack of Chinese language skills with lots of money. Although hardly a sweeping triumph, I felt quite pleased.
Anyway, we looked at a two-bedroom flat as well. I asked the person packing up their things (out of earshot of the 'agent') if there was anything that wasn't any good - she pointed to the water heater used for the shower. The very same one that Mr Blue Flipflops had told me was 'absolutely fine' less than a minute ago, in fact. So rubbish was it that she even bought a new one. On the way down the stairs, I asked him how old the buildings were. He said they were built in 1995, 30 years newer than I thought they were, which proved my theory that buildings in China age incredibly quickly. A couple of days later, I had another theory - he was talking crap to get my money off me.
Slightly disappointed and promising to call him tomorrow (which I didn't do, naturally), I went to the nearest internet bar to search for flats. Most of the people looking for someone to live with requested girls only. No pets, cleanliness, a steady job and good 'societal relationships' (no drug-taking friends, etc) were other common requirements. I phoned one number, which was answered by a very brusque woman. At one point I thought she said 'you're not allowed to go home'. Turns out she said 'you not allowed to bring home people randomly'. Selective hearing can sometimes have its drawbacks.
As the flat was in the centre of the city near the Bell Tower, it was just a short walk. But with time of the essence, I flagged down a moped. These are mostly retired guys cruising (illegally) round the city earning some extra cash. I think they're great, and certainly necessary given the horrendously crowded buses. You wave them by shouting 'la bu la - do you take people?'. You have to be wary not to flag down a legitimate moped driver, however, as you'll look like a tit when they drive past, ignoring you.
I found the flat inside another living area. It was huge, an entire thriving community in itself, and right next to the Bell Tower and main streets, but you would have no idea it was there without prior knowledge. On entering, I was informed that the room had just been taken. I was presented with indoor flipflops (for wearing after taking your shoes off) and the offer of a glass of hot water, but I declined. As soon as the door closed, I had the idea of looking at it and offering slightly more if it was good. But like all my best ideas, they come too late, and without the necessary decisiveness to make it matter.
In the middle of this living area I found another small estate agents, the (probably fake) placards on the wall from various government departments suggesting this was a relatively big operation. The agent was a middle-aged man, bald, possibly blind, with strong dialect. I was assured every flat he suggested was 'piaoliang de hen!' - very beautiful. He thought some body language would aid my understanding when explaining the contents of the flat. The one for shower involved lots of gyrating.
The thing I like about these guys is that they never give a straight answer, and are just trying to maximise financial gain. The good thing is, it's always like this, so I feel less of a shit when asking him questions he doesn't like (ie, any question). If you’re absolutely confident the other guy is trying to get one over on you instead of just not sure, you can be firmer in your dealings.
Anyway, the landlords of a couple of flats were out so I couldn't see anything that night. After accepting a Good Cat cigarette and enjoying it while he did his 'this flat is beautiful / not a penny cheaper, my hands are tied / i will personally help you buy a second-hand tv' thing with a timid-looking Chinese lady from outside the province, I left. I went to another netbar to have another quick search for something. This netbar was above a nightclub with some very inebriated young woman falling out and off their high heels. If there was a competition for 'most attractive woman viewed from behind', China could well take it.
In the netbar I found a number and gave it a try. It sounded promising, but was told I had to wait until Sunday to actually see it. As it was nearing 10 o’clock, I decided it might be time to call it a day. But then the woman sitting next to me came over, heard I was looking for a flat, and offered to take me to the living area where she lived just round the corner to ask about flats. The first three things that went through my mind where 'what are you after', 'maybe she's a nymphomaniac', and 'you need a better facial wash, I wonder if they have tea tree oil here'.
Turns out she was a perfectly normal, friendly person. We walked the ten minutes back to the 'living area'. This one was the living area for the City Government. She said there were only old people living here now. Not surprising, really, given the money swashing through layers of Chinese government. Anyway, there were no flats again, so we said goodbye and, with the last bus back to the south of the city leaving shortly, I decided to call it a day.
TOP TIPS FOR RENTING A FLAT IN CHINA
• Be patient and respectful
• Don't be a sap, man!
