The earthquake hit in the afternoon, but everything seemed quite normal soon after. Where I live, I only saw one slightly damaged building, but quite a lot of buildings have suffered cracks. It was quickly found out that it was 7.8, and that a lot of China had felt it. Initially people said no-one died, then later a number of 7000 was heard. Just now - 7am on the next day - I heard the number was 40,000.
My tutor is a Masters student, and living in the dormitory, he wasn't sure whether they would be allowed back in, so we went back to where I live. It was all pretty normal, until when we were going back home, I bump into a Spanish guy I know, who was planning on sleeping outside. As it turns out, the park was full of people prepared for a night's sleep. Seeing all that, I thought I'd better stay out as well.
It wasn't quite Woodstock, but it was an interesting atmosphere, about 25 Europeans and all the locals hanging out in the park at night. Because it wasn't too serious where I was, no-one was particularly freaked out. Still, it was only until after I heard the government announced at 12am that there would be no more aftershocks that I went back home. Besides, my building looks reasonably well-built.
4.30am, an aftershock woke me up. It's really a disturbing feeling. It seemed pretty clear that nothing was going to collapse, it was quite a small shake, but staying inside didn't sit comfortably, and seeing lots of people leaving the surrounding buildings, I went back to the park. But after about an hour, everyone was cold and bored so returned home. Now it's 7.50am on the second day, no appetite and I see on the news that it's a big one.
It's been an uneasy few hours. Coupled with the typhoon in Myanmar-Burma, the bad winter in China, and the very strange weather recently here, and the highly-visible, absolute destruction development is having on the environment, it adds to the unease.
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Earthquake hits China
The number of study hours I've lost due to events beyond my control is increasingly huge. Normally it's 'la duzi' ("upset stomach"), but also such things as the bus breaking down, or the weather being too hot, etc. Today was another first - an earthquake.
So I'm on the fourth floor, havng a lesson with my tutor at the university at 2.40 in the afternoon. Just as I'm looking at and not really understanding some classical Chinese poetry, I notice something underneath me, as if the students in the classroom below are all stampeding out. I nudged my teacher, who immediately stopped talking, and stood up.
Now I guess there's three important steps when an eathquake strikes. One, as soon as you realise its an earthquake, leave the building or hide under the table; two, don't go back for possessions; three, if exiting the premises, do so in an orderly manner. From what I did, it looks like my earthquake-handling technique needs adjusting.
The first thing we do is open the door and go outside. Once outside, my tutor shouts 'Eathquake!' I hadn't really grasped what it was at that point, but I knew a building moving side-to-side was probably a bad thing.
Breaking the second rule, we went back in to get our stuff - I went for my textbooks and loo paper (essential items), no time to claim the MP3. And thirdly, instead of sheltering under the table, we ran down the stairs, along with loads of other people, in reasonably orderly fashion. Certainly when I saw some dust and cement falling from the ceiling as I ran, I was pretty worried - not too many things to hide under on the stairs.
When we get outside, the ground is still shaking, but then so was I, quite hard to distinguish at that point. I think it lasted about a minute or so, can't have been more than 90 seconds anyway. Everyone starts making phone calls, meaning everyone can't get through. The students were not allowed back into the dormitories until midnight, which shows you how much confidence the university authorities have in the newly constructed buildings.
Above all, it was a very disturbing feeling. If the building had collapsed, I would have been stuffed. And even outside, I was still pretty wobbly. When I saw the cement falling down, that was pretty frightening. And on the stairs, I was just thinking 'don't collapse now, don't collapse now, don't collapse now'. Fortunately, it did not, but somehow I just don't feel like studying right now.
So I'm on the fourth floor, havng a lesson with my tutor at the university at 2.40 in the afternoon. Just as I'm looking at and not really understanding some classical Chinese poetry, I notice something underneath me, as if the students in the classroom below are all stampeding out. I nudged my teacher, who immediately stopped talking, and stood up.
Now I guess there's three important steps when an eathquake strikes. One, as soon as you realise its an earthquake, leave the building or hide under the table; two, don't go back for possessions; three, if exiting the premises, do so in an orderly manner. From what I did, it looks like my earthquake-handling technique needs adjusting.
The first thing we do is open the door and go outside. Once outside, my tutor shouts 'Eathquake!' I hadn't really grasped what it was at that point, but I knew a building moving side-to-side was probably a bad thing.
Breaking the second rule, we went back in to get our stuff - I went for my textbooks and loo paper (essential items), no time to claim the MP3. And thirdly, instead of sheltering under the table, we ran down the stairs, along with loads of other people, in reasonably orderly fashion. Certainly when I saw some dust and cement falling from the ceiling as I ran, I was pretty worried - not too many things to hide under on the stairs.
When we get outside, the ground is still shaking, but then so was I, quite hard to distinguish at that point. I think it lasted about a minute or so, can't have been more than 90 seconds anyway. Everyone starts making phone calls, meaning everyone can't get through. The students were not allowed back into the dormitories until midnight, which shows you how much confidence the university authorities have in the newly constructed buildings.
Above all, it was a very disturbing feeling. If the building had collapsed, I would have been stuffed. And even outside, I was still pretty wobbly. When I saw the cement falling down, that was pretty frightening. And on the stairs, I was just thinking 'don't collapse now, don't collapse now, don't collapse now'. Fortunately, it did not, but somehow I just don't feel like studying right now.
Friday, 9 May 2008
The Tuesday Night Interview
Last year I made a short TV programme about a foreigner who marries a Chinese girl and all the problems he encounters with the culture differences - with hilarious consequences, of course. Well, I'd forgotten about it, but then the director gives me a call last week, saying it was going to be broadcast the next day, and I should go to the studio to participate in the 'after-broadcast' interview, live on Local TV. Not wanting to pass up the opportunity to make a fool of myself not once but twice (all in the same evening), I of course agreed.
Things got off to a bad start when, just before doing the interview along with the other cast members, I had to dash to the bathroom. In my haste, I failed to notice the skirted silhouette on the door, so halfway through some female members of the production crew got a bit of a shock when they opened the door to the lockless-cubicle. 'Dignified' it was not.
During pre-filming preparations, they ran through the questions the presenters were likely to ask us. They asked me what I thought of Shaanxi women. My answer of 'I don't know, can't really tell the difference [between Shaanxi and non-Shaanxi women]' was considered an affront to the good women of Shaanxi. They said 'er, no, a better answer is 'fiery''. The programme is normally conducted in local language (the TV station is the provincial station, available to the 60 million residents of Shaanxi Province), but they made an exception for me. It's a nightly programme, and not hugely popular (fortunately).
The interview was 25 minutes long, and live, so I was a shade nervous. I introduced myself in local language, then after used Mandarin to field the questions directed at me. Questions mostly concerned my thoughts on international marriages (like that in the programme) and whether I could see myself living in Shaanxi. I mostly understood what they asked me, and it went pretty well, but it didn't quite have the easy back-and-forth of a Parkinson interview.
Later in the programme, the presenters read out some viewers comments. They asked me if I knew someone called Jiang Nan, because he said he knew me. I looked blankly and said 'No'. Embarrassed faces all round, until I suddenly remembered who it was, and corrected myself. Honestly, Chinese names are incredibly hard to remember, causing numerous awkward moments.
It's been a few days since this was broadcast, and I can't say I've had a huge number of autograph hunters and papparazzi hounding me - none, in fact, to be precise. Still, I'm sure that phonecall from China Central Television is just seconds away.
Things got off to a bad start when, just before doing the interview along with the other cast members, I had to dash to the bathroom. In my haste, I failed to notice the skirted silhouette on the door, so halfway through some female members of the production crew got a bit of a shock when they opened the door to the lockless-cubicle. 'Dignified' it was not.
During pre-filming preparations, they ran through the questions the presenters were likely to ask us. They asked me what I thought of Shaanxi women. My answer of 'I don't know, can't really tell the difference [between Shaanxi and non-Shaanxi women]' was considered an affront to the good women of Shaanxi. They said 'er, no, a better answer is 'fiery''. The programme is normally conducted in local language (the TV station is the provincial station, available to the 60 million residents of Shaanxi Province), but they made an exception for me. It's a nightly programme, and not hugely popular (fortunately).
The interview was 25 minutes long, and live, so I was a shade nervous. I introduced myself in local language, then after used Mandarin to field the questions directed at me. Questions mostly concerned my thoughts on international marriages (like that in the programme) and whether I could see myself living in Shaanxi. I mostly understood what they asked me, and it went pretty well, but it didn't quite have the easy back-and-forth of a Parkinson interview.
Later in the programme, the presenters read out some viewers comments. They asked me if I knew someone called Jiang Nan, because he said he knew me. I looked blankly and said 'No'. Embarrassed faces all round, until I suddenly remembered who it was, and corrected myself. Honestly, Chinese names are incredibly hard to remember, causing numerous awkward moments.
It's been a few days since this was broadcast, and I can't say I've had a huge number of autograph hunters and papparazzi hounding me - none, in fact, to be precise. Still, I'm sure that phonecall from China Central Television is just seconds away.
Friday, 2 May 2008
Xian so far
So what's different to last year? Not a huge amount, to be honest. I'm still here to learn Chinese, and experience a different way of doing things.
My first move was to do a Gordon Brown and break one of the golden rules - live with foreigners. My new flatmates are a German and an Italian, good friends from before, but as it happens, we rarely see each other, and it doesn't have a too negative impact on my Chinese. I was pretty reluctant to live with other Europeans, wanting to 'Sinofy' things as much as possible, but I find it easier said than done.
I'm living in what is probably the 'expat' area of Xi'an, down the road from last year, but still near the universities. I suppose it's considered suburbs, the complex I live in is a series of 6 storey flats, with guards at the gates and some grassy areas around, definitely an expression of the new and increasing wealth of the middle class. The flat's OK, although my room doesn't have air conditioning, so I'm looking forward to melting in my sleep again. It's May 2nd, and already time to bring out the shorts and flip-flops.
As for my studies, financial considerations have meant I've changed university. It's not as good as the one before, but much more affordable, and seeing as I rarely go to the lessons anyway, the best choice. Most of my learning is done by myself or with two tutors I had from last year. In fact, I'm only at a university because I have to be to get a visa.
Life is similar to before - a mixture of lessons, self-study, and random occurences. My Chinese has improved over the course of time, and I still enjoy learning it. Particularly when I first got back to Xian in March, I wasn't sure if it was the right choice, but I'm confident that it is - the main thing is, I enjoy it, and if I can learn it well enough to be considered useful later on, then that's a good bonus. At the moment, I think it's unlikely I'll stay here for ever, but I waited a long time for the chance to live in a foreign country and try learning a language, I'm not about to give it up lightly. Besides, I'll look a bit of wally if I don't learn it now.
My first move was to do a Gordon Brown and break one of the golden rules - live with foreigners. My new flatmates are a German and an Italian, good friends from before, but as it happens, we rarely see each other, and it doesn't have a too negative impact on my Chinese. I was pretty reluctant to live with other Europeans, wanting to 'Sinofy' things as much as possible, but I find it easier said than done.
I'm living in what is probably the 'expat' area of Xi'an, down the road from last year, but still near the universities. I suppose it's considered suburbs, the complex I live in is a series of 6 storey flats, with guards at the gates and some grassy areas around, definitely an expression of the new and increasing wealth of the middle class. The flat's OK, although my room doesn't have air conditioning, so I'm looking forward to melting in my sleep again. It's May 2nd, and already time to bring out the shorts and flip-flops.
As for my studies, financial considerations have meant I've changed university. It's not as good as the one before, but much more affordable, and seeing as I rarely go to the lessons anyway, the best choice. Most of my learning is done by myself or with two tutors I had from last year. In fact, I'm only at a university because I have to be to get a visa.
Life is similar to before - a mixture of lessons, self-study, and random occurences. My Chinese has improved over the course of time, and I still enjoy learning it. Particularly when I first got back to Xian in March, I wasn't sure if it was the right choice, but I'm confident that it is - the main thing is, I enjoy it, and if I can learn it well enough to be considered useful later on, then that's a good bonus. At the moment, I think it's unlikely I'll stay here for ever, but I waited a long time for the chance to live in a foreign country and try learning a language, I'm not about to give it up lightly. Besides, I'll look a bit of wally if I don't learn it now.
Our Man in China returns
It's hot, it's noisy, it's unbelievably crowded and I still don't know what's going on - it can only mean one thing. Our Man in China has returned to Xian, China, and returned to the blogsphere. Huzzah!
So what's been going on since last the time of the last entry, I don't hear you ask. Well, I stayed in Xi'an until mid-January, nothing off note happening. I returned to England for 2 months to earn some money, put on some weight and watch some decent sport on TV. However, as of March 2008, Our Man in China has returned to Xian, and is continuing his habit of trying to do things he can't do, namely, learning Mandarin Chinese to an 'acceptable' standard, and making some sense of China. Will he do it? You'll see here (hopefully with the aid of more photos this time).
So what's been going on since last the time of the last entry, I don't hear you ask. Well, I stayed in Xi'an until mid-January, nothing off note happening. I returned to England for 2 months to earn some money, put on some weight and watch some decent sport on TV. However, as of March 2008, Our Man in China has returned to Xian, and is continuing his habit of trying to do things he can't do, namely, learning Mandarin Chinese to an 'acceptable' standard, and making some sense of China. Will he do it? You'll see here (hopefully with the aid of more photos this time).
Friday, 19 October 2007
Fawlty Towers comes to Xi'an
Friday night, 11pm, a young man in China, what do you do? I could go to the city centre to sample the nightlife where my friend is going tonight but I have a cold at the moment, my nose is redder than the flag of China and my lips are dry and white like a Hovis crust.
So I'm doing what seemingly a lot of young guys do in Xi'an - go to the Internet bar. Personally, I find it quite strange that this is their activity of choice on a weekend evening. But they are not alone. There are lots of Pakistani guys here as well. They all study medicine at university in Xi'an, and the only time I see them is at night, when I'm on my way home and they are on their way to the 'wang ba' (netbar). Joining them is a contingent of Kazakhs, both groups playing 'Counter Strike', one of these games involving guns, bombs, randomly placed wooden pallets and really interestings things like that. Actually, it's probably good the Kazakhs are here, because last week 30 of them got in a huge fight with some Chinese guys, and the police came along and gave them enormous fines. I just hope the Chinese yuan / Kazakh tenge exchange rate is favourable. The Chinese guys like Counter Strike as well, but they also play this dancing game, which just must have been designed for girls under 10.
The best part is when you come in after 10pm, the receptionist will ask you if you're here for the whole night or just a few hours. Surfing a whole night's internet is a perfectly acceptable activity, indeed, it's considered 'cool'. If you go to a netbar early in the morning, maybe 8 or 9, you'll see the remnants of last night's Counter Strike battle strewn across three chairs, sleeping soundly now they have killed their friend over 400 times repeatedly.
So what do the girls do? Attractive girls will take advantage of the huge demand for attractive girls, and work in bars and nightclubs, drinking with guys and earning money for the bar. Others will work in nightclubs or KTV (karaoke places), where you pay for the privilege of having someone sit with you. In my hotel - in every large hotel in China - you'll have one of these KTV places, and a sauna/massage place on another floor, where you can get a little something extra for the gentleman customer. I don't really know what to say when these American guests ask me if we have a massage place, because no-one is meant to know about this (although everyone, of course, does). Presumably the customers are mostly these moneyed, fat guys. I'm fairly ambivalent about it, but it does seem a rather sad way to live, for the girls as well as the men.
Speaking of my hotel, I had quite a difficult evening today - nothing but complaints. (And the for first 45 minutes I was looking for my laundry, which turned out to be lost). I had the "I've been travelling for over 30 years and have never experienced such appalling service" speech from several guests - all from the UK and Ireland, actually. Most of the problems are due to the formidable language barrier mentioned in a previous post. I think the English-speaking guests cheer up after finding a foreigner there and like chatting to me about China.
All our guests are are mostly middle-aged people, coming on package tours, seeing the big cities and shows and main sights, etc. It's interesting talking to them, because sometimes they have a completely different view on China. An Irish woman said to me today how hard-working Chinese people are, and how there was no litter. I don't know what country she was describing, it certainly wasn't the one I live in. In saying that, I'm hardly an expert myself, and I would be very suspicious of people calling themselves China experts, such is the nature of this beast.
The biggest benefit of working in the hotel is the Western buffet. I make generous use of the term 'buffet', and stuff in as much meat, fruit, and non-diced-to-smitherens vegetables as I can in 20 minutes. I then have 4-5 minutes to make short-work of the cheese platter and 3-4 minutes to make mincemeat of the fruit selection, followed by a minute or two for digestion. After all, I'll need all the calcium and protein I can get for an entire night of shooting rogue terrorists and perfecting my break-dancing.
So I'm doing what seemingly a lot of young guys do in Xi'an - go to the Internet bar. Personally, I find it quite strange that this is their activity of choice on a weekend evening. But they are not alone. There are lots of Pakistani guys here as well. They all study medicine at university in Xi'an, and the only time I see them is at night, when I'm on my way home and they are on their way to the 'wang ba' (netbar). Joining them is a contingent of Kazakhs, both groups playing 'Counter Strike', one of these games involving guns, bombs, randomly placed wooden pallets and really interestings things like that. Actually, it's probably good the Kazakhs are here, because last week 30 of them got in a huge fight with some Chinese guys, and the police came along and gave them enormous fines. I just hope the Chinese yuan / Kazakh tenge exchange rate is favourable. The Chinese guys like Counter Strike as well, but they also play this dancing game, which just must have been designed for girls under 10.
The best part is when you come in after 10pm, the receptionist will ask you if you're here for the whole night or just a few hours. Surfing a whole night's internet is a perfectly acceptable activity, indeed, it's considered 'cool'. If you go to a netbar early in the morning, maybe 8 or 9, you'll see the remnants of last night's Counter Strike battle strewn across three chairs, sleeping soundly now they have killed their friend over 400 times repeatedly.
So what do the girls do? Attractive girls will take advantage of the huge demand for attractive girls, and work in bars and nightclubs, drinking with guys and earning money for the bar. Others will work in nightclubs or KTV (karaoke places), where you pay for the privilege of having someone sit with you. In my hotel - in every large hotel in China - you'll have one of these KTV places, and a sauna/massage place on another floor, where you can get a little something extra for the gentleman customer. I don't really know what to say when these American guests ask me if we have a massage place, because no-one is meant to know about this (although everyone, of course, does). Presumably the customers are mostly these moneyed, fat guys. I'm fairly ambivalent about it, but it does seem a rather sad way to live, for the girls as well as the men.
Speaking of my hotel, I had quite a difficult evening today - nothing but complaints. (And the for first 45 minutes I was looking for my laundry, which turned out to be lost). I had the "I've been travelling for over 30 years and have never experienced such appalling service" speech from several guests - all from the UK and Ireland, actually. Most of the problems are due to the formidable language barrier mentioned in a previous post. I think the English-speaking guests cheer up after finding a foreigner there and like chatting to me about China.
All our guests are are mostly middle-aged people, coming on package tours, seeing the big cities and shows and main sights, etc. It's interesting talking to them, because sometimes they have a completely different view on China. An Irish woman said to me today how hard-working Chinese people are, and how there was no litter. I don't know what country she was describing, it certainly wasn't the one I live in. In saying that, I'm hardly an expert myself, and I would be very suspicious of people calling themselves China experts, such is the nature of this beast.
The biggest benefit of working in the hotel is the Western buffet. I make generous use of the term 'buffet', and stuff in as much meat, fruit, and non-diced-to-smitherens vegetables as I can in 20 minutes. I then have 4-5 minutes to make short-work of the cheese platter and 3-4 minutes to make mincemeat of the fruit selection, followed by a minute or two for digestion. After all, I'll need all the calcium and protein I can get for an entire night of shooting rogue terrorists and perfecting my break-dancing.
Sunday, 7 October 2007
The Princess of Belgium and the short one from Hale and Pace
Firstly, hats off to the England rugby team on a sterling victory over Australia. I should also personally thank David Campese (Australian idiot) for his expert pre-game analysis - 'England have no idea and will lose'. Good call, Dave. Also hats off to the New Zealanders, who have choked yet again. To cock it up that many times is an achievement in itself.
Guest: Can you speak English?
Hotel staff: Yes.
Guest: What time is breakfast?
Hotel staff: Yes.
Guest: No, I said what time is breakfast?
Hotel staff: No.
(Guest angrily exits).
One of the receptionists is actually scared of foreigners. When a foreigner came to the front desk, she would glance up at him, the foreigner would open his mouth to speak, then she would just turn away, hoping this ogre will go away.
I also love the way they deal with things. You ask someone for something, they will ask someone else, they will ask someone else, they will ask someone else, and a long time later you will get the opposite of what you originally asked for. It's like Chinese whispers without the whispering.
The F1 people mostly consisted of Italians, a few other Europeans and some Arab princes. The main thing I noticed was how physically big Europeans are. It was pretty obvious that the Europeans were the ones driving the boat, fixing the boat, etc, and the Arab playboy princes were providing the funding. I saw the Princess of Belgium, but she didn't look very pretty to me. Also, one of the Finns looked just like the short one from Hale and Pace. Maybe it was him, who knows. I've seen a lot of lookalikes recently, actually - last week, I saw a French guy who looked just like Dr Mengele.
Speaking of Germans (good link, huh), with this new found income I can afford to go to the German owned supermarket near my flat to buy some decent stuff and start doing my own food, particularly breakfasts. I just love the garden furniture display outside, and the fact that not one single person in China has a garden. Genius. But inside they have a good array of breakfast materials, so I bought some Chinese yoghurts, French cereal bars and German cornflakes - 'Der knusperfrische Start in der Tag'!! Ja, tasten ist gut. The controversy about Chinese made products has some truth - a lot of things made here are poor quality. But that's why they are so cheap - pay peanuts, get monkeys. If you pay a labour force nothing and ensure that safety standards are not enforced in the effort to keep costs down and profits up for non-producing managers and directors, it should be unsurprising that quality is an issue.
Recently I've been in the local bar a lot, ostensibly to practice Chinese. There was a guy there last week, I guess he could be considered 'cool', he had a friend and some attractive girls sitting around him. He wore dog slippers that looked like the car in Dumb and Dumber, and when he sat on the desk, he sat with his knees up like a kid. These are the cool guys. Another time, a group of middle-aged men, bored with their wives, came in because they heard that this bar had a lot of 'mei nu' (beautiful girls). When the bartender said they had gone home for the holiday, they left because the only decent way for moneyed, married, middle-aged men to drink in China is to pay young, bored-looking girls to sit and drink with you. These are the cool guys.
A couple of weeks ago, I met a person who lives on the floor above me. A couple of times a week we get together, speak Chinese, English, etc. But she wants to watch Friends, which is good for me (nice to see some TV that I can understand). She pauses it in places she doesn't understand, and I explain. Incidentally, she is a Christian (I've met more Christians in Xi'an than in England), and being Chinese as well, incredibly conservative. Yet she has a tremendous ability to pause the DVD on all references to sex and amusing body parts. Recently I've had to explain the meaning of the following: 'diaphragm', 'wood' (the other meaning), 'skidmark', 'burning loins', 'topless babes', 'taking me roughly in the barn', and so on.
And finally, a word on the weather. 4 weeks ago it was extremely hot, sweaty and horrible, now it is freezing cold, wet and horrible. Autumn lasted an entire 3 weeks. Hats, gloves, scarfs, the whole kaboodle has been dusted off and all is being worn. And to cap it all off, everytime it rains my building has no hot water, so ice cold showers all round. Still, I'm not fussed - the main thing is we beat the Aussies.
For the last few weeks, I've spent a fair amount of time on the Internet, following the rugby. I really should be using this time to read Chinese, but reading Chinese is painfully slow and lacking in rugby-orientated content. My task for next week is to find a place to watch the semi-finals. I found a German bar the other day with excellent imported German beer, so there must be somewhere in this 6 million person city with satelitte TV.
As to the title of this blog, these are two people I saw in my new job, which I started last week. I work 3 evenings a week in a hotel, supposedly as 'General Service Manager', but really just talking to the foreigners, a little translating, a little sorting out foreigner-related problems, etc. I wear an outfit that makes me look like Alan Partridge - blue, white and yellow striped club tie, etc. It's pretty simple work, and I get a free Western buffet dinner every shift. Taking full use of this offer, last time I had, amongst numerous other things, 8 mini steaks.(Incidentally, last week I arrived for work too early, so went to have a quick look at a nearby park, adjacent to the city wall. Everyone stared at me when I went in, but it's fairly normal in China, I thought nothing of it. Then this guy comes up to me, chats a bit, asks if I want to take a walk with him. I say no. Then another guy comes up, we have an identical conversation. Thinking something is a little fishy, I turn round and there's lots of people standing behind me, staring at me. Then I realise everyone here is male, and that I had found Xi'an's Clapham Common. A hasty retreat followed).
This last week, the World F1 Powerboat Championships came to Xi'an, and for some strange reason they all stayed at our hotel. I say strange, because this is at most a 3 star hotel, yet they call themselves 'pre -5 star', whatever that means. Throughout the week, there were a number of problems, mostly stemming from the Chinese staff being hopeless at English. It's good for me, because I can practise Chinese with them, but it's amazing how bad it is, given how long they study it for. Typical conversation is as follows:
Guest: Can you speak English?
Hotel staff: Yes.
Guest: What time is breakfast?
Hotel staff: Yes.
Guest: No, I said what time is breakfast?
Hotel staff: No.
(Guest angrily exits).
One of the receptionists is actually scared of foreigners. When a foreigner came to the front desk, she would glance up at him, the foreigner would open his mouth to speak, then she would just turn away, hoping this ogre will go away.
I also love the way they deal with things. You ask someone for something, they will ask someone else, they will ask someone else, they will ask someone else, and a long time later you will get the opposite of what you originally asked for. It's like Chinese whispers without the whispering.
The F1 people mostly consisted of Italians, a few other Europeans and some Arab princes. The main thing I noticed was how physically big Europeans are. It was pretty obvious that the Europeans were the ones driving the boat, fixing the boat, etc, and the Arab playboy princes were providing the funding. I saw the Princess of Belgium, but she didn't look very pretty to me. Also, one of the Finns looked just like the short one from Hale and Pace. Maybe it was him, who knows. I've seen a lot of lookalikes recently, actually - last week, I saw a French guy who looked just like Dr Mengele.
Speaking of Germans (good link, huh), with this new found income I can afford to go to the German owned supermarket near my flat to buy some decent stuff and start doing my own food, particularly breakfasts. I just love the garden furniture display outside, and the fact that not one single person in China has a garden. Genius. But inside they have a good array of breakfast materials, so I bought some Chinese yoghurts, French cereal bars and German cornflakes - 'Der knusperfrische Start in der Tag'!! Ja, tasten ist gut. The controversy about Chinese made products has some truth - a lot of things made here are poor quality. But that's why they are so cheap - pay peanuts, get monkeys. If you pay a labour force nothing and ensure that safety standards are not enforced in the effort to keep costs down and profits up for non-producing managers and directors, it should be unsurprising that quality is an issue.
Recently I've been in the local bar a lot, ostensibly to practice Chinese. There was a guy there last week, I guess he could be considered 'cool', he had a friend and some attractive girls sitting around him. He wore dog slippers that looked like the car in Dumb and Dumber, and when he sat on the desk, he sat with his knees up like a kid. These are the cool guys. Another time, a group of middle-aged men, bored with their wives, came in because they heard that this bar had a lot of 'mei nu' (beautiful girls). When the bartender said they had gone home for the holiday, they left because the only decent way for moneyed, married, middle-aged men to drink in China is to pay young, bored-looking girls to sit and drink with you. These are the cool guys.
A couple of weeks ago, I met a person who lives on the floor above me. A couple of times a week we get together, speak Chinese, English, etc. But she wants to watch Friends, which is good for me (nice to see some TV that I can understand). She pauses it in places she doesn't understand, and I explain. Incidentally, she is a Christian (I've met more Christians in Xi'an than in England), and being Chinese as well, incredibly conservative. Yet she has a tremendous ability to pause the DVD on all references to sex and amusing body parts. Recently I've had to explain the meaning of the following: 'diaphragm', 'wood' (the other meaning), 'skidmark', 'burning loins', 'topless babes', 'taking me roughly in the barn', and so on.
And finally, a word on the weather. 4 weeks ago it was extremely hot, sweaty and horrible, now it is freezing cold, wet and horrible. Autumn lasted an entire 3 weeks. Hats, gloves, scarfs, the whole kaboodle has been dusted off and all is being worn. And to cap it all off, everytime it rains my building has no hot water, so ice cold showers all round. Still, I'm not fussed - the main thing is we beat the Aussies.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
